Notice to Vacate & Relocate Campsite

Dear Campsite One Occupants,

This letter serves as formal notice that your current occupation of Campsite One must conclude tomorrow evening.

Following a comprehensive review by Management—and for reasons that Management is neither required nor particularly interested in discussing—the continued occupation of your current campsite has been deemed incompatible with ongoing campground operations.

Accordingly, all members, equipment, personal property, recreational items, coolers, chairs, tents, vehicles, and other evidence of your occupation must be removed from Campsite One by tomorrow evening.

You have been reassigned to a new location elsewhere on the campground.

Please understand that this relocation is mandatory and not subject to negotiation, appeal, committee review, group vote, seniority, clinical credentials, instructor status, or passionate arguments presented around a campfire.

Campsite One is expected to be left in reasonably clean condition upon departure. All trash, personal belongings, and questionable decisions should be removed with you.

Management appreciates your prompt cooperation and expects the relocation to occur in an orderly, professional manner consistent with the exceptionally high standards traditionally associated with individuals attending an EMS conference in the woods.

Failure to relocate by the designated time may result in additional administrative measures, including but not limited to stern looks, increasingly official correspondence, public shaming, or Management standing nearby with folded arms until you begin packing.

Thank you for your immediate attention to this matter.

Respectfully,